On Depression, Anxiety, and the General Effort to be a Functioning Human Being
Hi, everyone. You may have noticed (or not) that I haven't posted on hear for a while. That's because for the last month or so I haven't been doing so well. I was hit pretty hard with a severe bout of depression and anxiety, and it took me some time to get better again.
This was the worst I've ever been. Severe depression, suicidal thoughts, multiple anxiety attacks a day. I was scared, to be honest. I'm doing better now, but I'm still scared. My depression is not situational. It's not related to a traumatic event in my past. It's just my brain not doing what it shouldn't be doing, and the fact that I have very little control over that scares me.
I refuse, however, to let my mental illness rule my life. I don't know when or how my depression will affect me, but I can choose how I live my life when my depression's in the back seat. I'm scared, yes, but I choose to accept that fear and then deny it control.
Mental illness is hard, harder than people who haven't experienced it can imagine, but it is manageable. You just have to ask for help. Please, if mental illness affects you and is preventing you from living your life, please ask for help. Let people guide you through this illness to the other side, to a life where happiness is no longer an abstract concept but an actual feeing that you can experience. I will be that person if you don't know who else to ask.
I hope you all are doing well. Thanks for sticking around.